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Step 3: Talk about your health care wishes |
Once you have selected a person to be your health care agent, the next step is to have a conversation about your health wishes. It is hard to have this discussion, but harder still for your family and friends to make decisions for you without knowing what you want.
Take a step toward peace of mind by beginning the conversation with your agent, your family and close friends. It may be awkward at first - here are some ideas to start this conversation:
"I'd like to talk with you about how I would like to be cared for if I become unable to speak for myself. Is that OK?"
"As I become older and face more health problems, I am concerned that you don't know what kind of care I would like. Could we talk about this now? It would make me feel better now, and might help you feel better later."
"Do you remember what happened to Aunt Mary when she was in the nursing home and couldn't feed herself? None of us knew what she would have wanted. I don't want you to have to go through that with me. That's why I want to talk about this now, while we can."
Your conversation with your agent is not a one-time event. Your condition and health care needs will change over time and your opinions about your choices may also change. Discuss your wishes about what is important in your life and for your care. Talk about your choices for treatment and for comfort. Help your family and friends deal with tough choices by making your wishes known in advance.
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this conversation. The most important thing is to share your thoughts, concerns and wishes. Talking about it may be difficult. But the more you share, the more peace of mind you will have.
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Put your choices in writing
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